Week 12 Storytelling: Three Hungry Little Pigs

A wolf was walking around his neighborhood one day, admiring some of the architecture that his neighbors had raised up in order to live in, when he noticed a new house - a brick house - with a pig laid up inside.

"How wonderful!" said the wolf. "A new neighbor! Well, I should go say 'hello'!"

So the wolf trudged up to the house, paw extended for a handshake, and saw the pig a bit more as he got closer. The pig was a big, burly hog, with 5 'o clock shadow at 3pm, a hardhat, and overalls with no shirt underneath which clearly revealed a tattoo of a heart with the word "Mom" in the middle of it. He seemed to be adding something to the side of his house.

"Hello, sir!" called the wolf. The pig looked up at him and stared. "How are you?"

The pig let out a snort and went back to his work.

The wolf was undeterred. "New around here?" The pig stared and snorted again. "Listen...I just wanted to let you know that we've got some fine turnip fields around here, if you wanted me to show you where they are."

The pig finally spoke up. "Alright, wolf. I'll go with you. Come back in an hour and I'll be done with this. Then we can go."

The wolf smiled, finally reaching a friend. "Okay, sir! I'll be back in an hour!"

As the wolf walked off, the pig watched him leave and then snuck away from his job, running off towards the turnip fields. After the hour was up, he already had more turnips than he would ever need and was back to his work on the house. The wolf walked up.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

The pig looked sympathetic. "Uh...actually, Mr. Wolf, I already went over there. I had to get back to work."

The wolf looked disappointed. "Well, that's okay. If you have any free time later, I can show you this great apple orchard! You'll never need to visit the grocery store again!"

The pig smiled. "Well, give me another hour and we can go!"

The wolf beamed. "Great! I'll be back in an hour!"

The pig watched the wolf run off and waited until he was out of sight, to run to the apple orchard and gather up several bushels of apples. He grabbed as many as he possibly could and then ran home before the wolf got there. The wolf came exactly one hour after leaving, and the pig was right back to work, the apples clearly visible.

"Y - you went already?" the wolf almost burst into tears.

The pig gave a sigh. "Yes, Mr. Wolf. I have so much work to do that I needed to get it done. I'll tell you what, though. I want to make it up to you, so how about you give me two hours, and then come over. I'll cook dinner for us."

The wolf looked happy all over again. "Okay! I'll be back in two hours!" The wolf ran off gleefully.

The pig began to get a pot boiling over a fire and set up plenty of apples and turnips for a stew. He worked tirelessly getting things ready until the wolf was knocking on the door, two hours later. The door was locked, but the pig called for him to come in. The wolf tried turning the knob. Nothing. The pig walked up to the door and called out, "You really have to push to get it open!" The wolf tried harder. The pig told him to try running at it, and as the wolf backed up, the pig unlocked the door. As the wolf came running, the door opened and the wolf ran right into the pot of stew. The pig quickly closed the lid, sealing the wolf in.

That evening, the pig had a lovely wolf stew, and leaned back in his recliner picking his teeth. "I hope I get to stay here awhile. My neighbors are delicious!"

Rabid Bacon

Author's Note
This was initially taken from The Three Little Pigs. In the original tale, most everything in my story happens. The wolf is eaten by the pig. I thought this to be so strange, I had to retell it. I decided to make the pig a psychopath and the wolf a nice guy. Why? Because that's more fun.