This is a place to post comments over the blog in general. If you have comments over a specific story, you are welcome to comment here or on that specific post. It's up to you!
Hello Chase, I will be commenting on your cover page, your introduction, and your storybook overall. I will start with your cover page. I think the pictures are great. Your font for your citation is hard to read though. The font is hard to read on your sitemap as well. Now to your introduction, I really like the picture you provided here. I think the picture was a great choice for your introduction. The picture allows the reader to know what Lemminkainen look like and will allow them to imagine him while reading the rest of your stories. Your font is hard to read here as well. Maybe you could make the font bigger. I think you have a great topic. The beginning of your introduction is kind of boring though. I’m not trying to be rude but I kind of had to force myself to read all of it. Now the end of your introduction was great and very easy to read. Alright overall, I think you have a great start to your storybook. I think if you make a couple font changes that will help a lot. Also maybe add some color to your theme to spruce up the site a little to attract your readers a little more. I hope these comments are helpful. Good luck with the rest of your storybook. Oh, you have your verification still on for people to post on your blogger.
Hi chase, when I first clicked on the link to you page. I noticed a contrast between the two pictures you have selected for you home page. As one is very playful and even very attraction to a much younger audience. Whereas the other one seems a little bit more mature (I don’t know if that’s the right word to describe it) But it seems more action packed. So I am assuming that I am not in for all poetry and rhymes rather a more exciting story book web page. I don’t mean to be critical as I too am new to this. But I think you maybe could have aligned your pictures in the center or may even blow them up a bit more. I understand it is the beginning stages. I like the use of font text. Reading your introduction, I thought you did an outstanding job. I think the detailed history is definitely vital as it give your readers a much deeper understanding in what you are talking about and in a way it is actually educational. So a very well done on that one. By the way, I really like the picture of the horse you used. Also your introduction almost seems like a theatrical play that the readers are about to witness. GOOD JOB!
Chase, I decided to look at your storybook this week for my one free choice. I was drawn to yours because of the title. First, I have no idea what the Kalevala is, so there was a bit of mystery involved there that I wanted to explore. Second, you wrote “as Interpreted by Dr. Suess.” When I read this I was very intrigued. I was sure this would be a great storybook just from the title alone. I then clicked on your link and was taken to your cover page. I again saw the well-known characters of Dr. Seuss, and I was also given a hint as to what the Kalevala may be. It may have something to do with a wolf, a bear, and a fish. This is great because I am further intrigued to see how you will connect the two. I liked the introduction, too. I like that it gives you a brief synopsis, tells you where it comes from, and explains how the Kalevala has influenced literature from other parts of the world. The introduction itself doesn’t really make me think of Dr. Suess other than the fact that his name is on it, so I am pushed to read the stories to find out what they will be like told from his perspective. The wolf, bear, and fish are still in the back of my mind. Are they important to the Kalevala? Overall, I think you’ve definitely got a good start to something fun and creative!
Chase, I thought your Dr. Suess theme is a really good idea! I bet it took you a long time to try to write such a long story with all of that rhyming! The only thing I would suggest changing about your format is the font size. It was definitely way too small to read, I had to zoom in quite a bit on my computer. Your first story turned out well! The end had a cliffhanger which I wasn't expecting! I liked the story, it was good! I wish there was a little more color in your layout or just in your pictures! Although that is just a personal preference of mine. I like to be a little gaudy and vibrant with everything I do because it makes things more interesting for me. You are very brave to choose to turn four stories into poems! I am excited to see what other stories you pick and what else you do with your story book! Keep up the good work and keep going strong. Good job!
I first want to say how impressed I am with your first story in your storybook. I was super intrigued with your theme last week when I first read your introduction. It seems like the Kalevala is a collection of great epic stories, which would make great material for a Dr. Suess kind of book. I was also interested to read your stories because they would have a rhyme scheme throughout. I can only imagine what a task this really was! You did a great job with it, though. I liked Lemminkainen and his quest to find a wife. He was really determined to find some woman to marry and to get away from his home. I thought it was really fun that you mentioned that he travelled in his dreams, too. This gave great insight into his spirit during his journey. It was crazy, though, when he reached the end of his journey, how he and the fair maiden immediately fell in love. I think you picked a great place to stop on this story. We had resolution with the story itself. Lemminkainen set out on a journey to find a wife and at the end he found a fair maiden whom he wished to marry. You also set up the next part of the story nicely. Now that he has found the fair maiden, he must earn his marriage to her, or at least earn the approval of the father, by completing some great task. Great job!
First of all, I think it's awesome that you chose a myth that probably no one has ever heard of before because it's always fun to learn something new. I also think it's cool that you picked this myth that is so central to Finnish culture.
I also thought you did a fantastic job of writing like Dr. Seuss. I read his books often to the kids I tutor, and you hit the style right on the nose. The only thing that I thought was missing were his made-up words. With that, you did a good job of reminding the reader of the hero's goal every so often. I especially love the line, "At catching rare creatures, Lemminkainen was second to none." And the way you talked about him traveling by day, by night, and in dreams was very reminiscent of Dr. Seuss. I loved the part about him walking left and right. It really showed how determined he was to find a bride. You are clearly a Dr. Seuss fan, and you delivered what you promised!
As you said in your author's note, I could see how it could be difficult to stop rhyming long enough to end the first section of the story. But I thought you picked a good spot. It hinted at what was to come and left me wondering. Good job!
Hello Chase, thank you for your comment on my storybook. To clear a few things up the person on the couch is whoever you want to imagine it to be. I left this open so that the reader to make the story their own. Also the storybook is someone watching TV. So the narrator sections is them talking to the TV.
Hi Chase, You were my free storybook choice for this week and the title drew me in. Being the son of a first grade teacher and having worked in school systems for several years, I have read countless Dr. Seuss works. Overall, you did a good job getting that Dr. Seuss feel into your story, it must have been difficult as you said to rhyme all of that. My main suggestion would be to reread through your story and clean up misspelled words and oddly worded sentences. Also, if you are doing a Dr. Seuss retelling, I would work with your theme colors and try to change up the color from white to something Dr. Seuss-like. Overall, great idea and good work.
Chase, thank you so much for your comment on my week 2 storytelling. I really felt as though you knew what I wanted to say through my story. Your comment actually reminded me of something J.R. Tolkien (writer of the Lord of the Rings) once said to his friend C.S. Lewis (Narnia). Anyway, your encouragement was greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Hi Chase! Great job on your storybook project. I'm from the Indian Epics class, and I've loved getting to read some of the great projects from your class, and yours is one of the projects I really enjoyed. I have never heard of the story you are retelling, so it was interesting to read about the Finnish epic in a format that was easy and reminded me of Dr. Seuss books. I can't imagine how difficult it can be, but you managed it quite well! It was simple yet was enough for the story to progress and the reader to get an idea of the man Lemminkainen is—somewhat cocky and in desperate want of a wife. I really liked your choice of images, especially the introduction. It's beautiful! One suggestion I would have is to maybe change your font or make it bigger—it could be a little harder to read than the traditional fonts. I liked how you did your introduction and author's notes as if Dr. Seuss is writing it; that was a great touch. You did well in simplifying the story and explaining differences in the author's note. I really enjoyed your project and hopefully will be able to read more-- well done!
Chase I just wanted to say thanks for you comment about my Storybook, Pride Cometh Before Destruction. It really made me think about how I wanted my version of Death to come across. I have not read either of the books you mentioned, but will probably check them out sometime. As far as Death not being involved in my first story, I would like to think the origin story was like Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. Half the movie goes by and leaves the view thinking, 'Where is Batman?!' However, this is because of the incredible development of the Bruce Wayne side, so maybe I need to look at my story again and see if I am developing the character well enough.
Hey Chase, just wanted to thank you for the comment you left on my story about Brer Rabbit. Like you, I also really enjoy the old Looney Tunes cartoons from back in the day. It is good to hear positive comments about the stories I wrote. Those comments are always welcome. Thanks!
I'm very impressed with you ability to weave rhymes so well into your Storybook. I wanted to read the whole of "Lemminkainen's Bride" out loud! Very well-done on your part! Also, I like how you set up the Storybook to be narrated by Dr. Seuss and subsequently write the author's note in his voice.
When it comes to the coverpage, is there any chance you can remove that space between the two photos? The vast white spot can distract the reader a little bit.
There are a few typographical errors I want to make sure you catch, so I've listed them below.
In your introduction, go ahead and fix "konw" to "know" and "no a forgotten piece of mythology" to "not a forgotten piece of mythology."
In the story "Lemminkainen's Bride," the eighth stanza needs a comma after "To win my fair daughter." You might also consider capitalizing that "But"'s that begin lines near the end. I would read over the whole thing to make sure you have the capitalization ship-shape.
Overall, make sure that you have complete sentences throughout. Sometimes, there's a sentence that seems to be a modifier of the next. Then again, it might because the commas and periods look so similar in this font.
Other than that, I really enjoyed the effect of the rhyme throughout the whole story!
The site design is fairly plain but the pictures are well-chosen, especially the striking illustration of Lemminkainen riding the horse. The text is a bit hard to read, but that might just be me though.
The content here is of good quality. I'm covering "The Volsung Saga" for my storybook, a work which was likely partially influenced by the "The Kelevala," so it's a particularly cool experience for me to read the Storybook for another northern European mythological work. You've done a good job with the rhymes, and it looks like you have also skillfully condensed the source material down to the bare essentials in order to keep your word count down. The Storybook has a really fun, whimsical tone (fitting considering who the poet is supposed to be) that makes it an absolute blast to read. The characterization of Lemmy is really well done in the story as well. You’ve really captured Lemmy’s single-track mind and his un-hero-like qualities. I love how Lemmy tries sailing, only to fall victim to rampant seasickness, and how he later flees in fear from a mere hunter. Lemminkainen talks a big game, but it’s clear by the first story that Hercules he is not. I’m looking forward to reading more about the man’s misadventures.
Chase, wow! At first I was not quite sure how you would tie in the Dr. Suess style, but as soon as I started reading your second story about Lemminkainen's Chance, I was so impressed and interested! I love the rhyming and the simple, witty and fun style!!! It is pretty spot on to Dr. Suess, and I know you must have put a good amount of effort into writing it to be able to rhyme the story and emulate his style.
Overall, the story line was very interested, and definitely a sad one. I was shocked to see the main character was killed in this story. I did not know how you would continue your storybook until he was brought back to life. But even with such a morbid story line, it was still light and fun with the Dr. Suess style. I think your writing is phenomenal on your storybook and fits Dr. Suess great! One suggestion I might make though is pertaining to the stylistic appearance of your storybook. I think the font is very appropriate for Dr. Suess, but I think you should consider using some types of colors or illustrations in your background and site layout. Looking at a Dr. Suess book one thing that comes to my mind is always the colors and elaborate drawings and characters. I think if you added some of those elements to your site it would really scream Dr. Suess and bring in readers! Just a thought!
Overall, I think you are doing so well!! Great job!
Before reading your introduction and first story, I can say that I like the simplicity of your cover page. I like the plain white background and the way it makes your images stand out. I do not know what a Kalevala is, but I am interested in finding out! I am also interested in seeing how Dr. Seuss being the narrator plays into all of this.
Well with just the first sentence of the introduction, I am glad to know that I am not the only one who has not heard of the Kalevala. This is also the first storybook that I have come across focused on Finnish mythology. I had no idea that the culture influenced so many fantastic pieces of literature. I like the ending of your intro and how it sums up what your storybook is going to be about. It gives enough information about Lemminkainen in order to anticipate what his story has in story.
Wow, that is the first thing that came to mind when I read your first story! Your project has to be the most creative one that I have come across! The fact that you could make your stories into poems, with a consistent rhyming scheme, is simply incredible. Reading the story was easy to follow and understand. The information in your author's note gave the story more life, in my opinion, pertaining to the backstory that you decided to exclude from your remake.
This is a really cool idea for a storybook! I like that you had Dr. Seuss speaking in a normal way in the introduction to help explain the back story. I had never heard of this before so it was nice to have it explained clearly and not in his typical rhyme haha. The image you used on the introduction page is really cool too. I also like the simplicity of your background and font and the colors. It is all very easy to read and it's not too busy or anything like that. The image of Kalevala's wolf, bear, and fish next to the Dr. Seuss image was nice too. It's funny to see that menacing bear and think of it being told by Dr. Seuss haha.
You did an excellent job in your first story! It was very Dr. Seuss. It rhymed really well and it was fun to read. I bet the original story must have been pretty difficult to read especially since it's an epic poem but you seem to have stayed close to the original. I read your author's note and saw where you decided to leave certain things out. I think it works because, as you said, it would have been dense and very hard to incorporate in this style.
Chase, I was intrigued by your title since it included Dr. Seuss, therefore, I chose you as my ‘free choice’ for this weeks commenting. I thought you did an excellent job on tailoring the template for you page to your intended audience and overall theme. I loved how you introduction did a great job of introducing your story and explaining a little more about it, but having it more exciting since Dr. Seuss narrated it. Your first story was great! I think you did an excellent job with telling the story as a poem. However, maybe you could center the poem or make the font slightly larger? It seems a bit one sided when glancing at it. I’m glad you explained some of your thoughts and ideas for this story in your author’s note. It really helped me understand the story better. In your second story, I like you chose to make ‘Lemmy’ more likeable and keep him innocent. Even though the second story was a bit more melancholy I still enjoyed it, especially the style. I think poems are much more exciting and fun than simply a summary of a story. Overall, I loved your storybook. I’m excited to see what happens next!
I think this a great idea for a storybook you’ve got. Dr. Seuss is such an iconic author, however, your storybook was not particularly iconic for me. Your storybook was such a lot of white. Dr. Seuss is known for his vibrant, eye-catching colors and your storybook fell flat in that aspect. I think if you took the time to really find a great theme and customize it to feel very Dr. Seuss, it will bring your storybook up an exponential amount. As for the writing, I thought it was really great. Sure, there were a few times in the poem that it hiccupped a little due to a few too long phrases and verses. I’m not sure how many poetry classes you’ve taken, but once you find a rhythm you have to stick to it (that mean if you start out with four lines per stanza you need to keep that consistent the whole time). As for the pictures, they weren’t very Dr. Seuss, but I understand that that’s a bit more difficult to fix than just customizing your theme. But the pictures distract me from the world of Dr. Seuss. I’m already not super in it between you’ve given me a very blank and vanilla storybook, and the pictures detract that much more.
Chase, ah I could not resist coming back to your storybook to read more! I was so impressed with the last story I read and wanted to see what you had next! First off, I still really would love to see more of a color scheme to bring in the “Dr. Suess” element. He is so full of color and illustrations in his books that I think it is really imperative you incorporate some of that in your storybook.
But your writing style is still so on point! Dr. Suess would be proud, I am sure! I know rhyming must be so hard, and it probably makes telling a full story and including all the details you want nearly impossible. In this story, I feel there may be a few details it would be important to include. At the beginning of this story I had a few questions come into mind that were never really addressed or answered by the end of the story. First and foremost, why wasn’t Lemminkainen invited to the wedding?! We never found that out, or why exactly the groom’s father was sword fighting Lemminkainen. The story was definitely interesting and action packed, but those are important details that a reader really wants to know in order to feel satisfied after reading your story. You don’t want to send them on a “wild goose chase” to say, by starting off talking about how hurt he is by not being invited and have them read through this entire story to never really circle back about the wedding, the friend who did not invite him, or any of that.
Just a thought! I still think you are doing soooo great though! Keep it up!
I really liked the picture on your introduction page. I thought it was really captivating and made me want to read more about your story. I LOVE rhyming. I actually had to read your story twice because the first time, I was so captivated by the rhyming that I didn’t take notes. I think my favorite line is “He traveled through forests. He traveled through streams. When he stopped to sleep, he traveled in dreams”. I just loved everything about that part, I’m not sure why. I really like your story so far and I am really excited to read the rest. In fact, I may just choose your other two stories as the extra credit this week so I can read it all right now! Although you said you had some difficulty rhyming and following your writing style at times, I thought your project was really well put together and inspired. I also think leaving out his previous marriage was a good move, I don’t think it would have added much to the story and probably would have been more difficult to incorporate into the rhyme scheme. I really don’t want to read the original of your story because I have a feeling I will like your version so much more!
Chase, your title really caught me! I was interested to see what kind of storybook you were making and Dr. Seuss is awesome for rhymes. The photos you chose for the coverpage capture my attention and make me wonder what it is you are going to tell us in the stories. I love the setup you chose for your introduction. Putting that awesome picture next to the story is a fantastic setup and the introduction made me smile since you noted Lord of the Rings and gave some information about Finland.
Your first story instantly grabbed me. I have not seen a storybook yet using rhymes or epics. Lemminkainen sounds like a very interesting man, especially since he wants to find a wife so bad! I think it was a good choice to leave out the marriage. I wonder, was it difficult writing this? You mentioned the style is hard to grasp sometimes, so how did you fair with coming up with your retellings? Each of the stories leads us into a new adventure… But I can NOT believe the second story, oh my gosh! You definitely toyed with my emotions, poor Lemminkainen! That’s a total plot twist since he died… I am glad he was able to come back. The next story was amazing too! Keep up the good work! I am definitely glad I read this.
Chase, your introduction was great! I loved that you opened with a question and made readers feel more excited about reading your storybook because the topic is rare. However, we are on the same page with Dr. Seuss, which is pretty cool! Thanks for including a great description on what the Kalevala is. This sounds like such an interesting mythology story. I only read the first story, Lemminkainen’s Bride this week. The way you wrote the story was perfect. I liked that it was still written as a poem and I know that was not an easy way to write it but you did good! It was easy to follow and understand. At first I thought that Lemminkainen already had a bride in mind that he was going after. I did not realize until he reached the ground that he was just hoping to run into a pretty girl! It was crazy how him and the maiden fell in love with each other so quick. I’m glad that her father was going to make Lemminkainen work for her though. This story was fun, creative, and really enjoyable to read. The author’s note was helpful also by including that you had left the backstory from the original out; which I think that was a good decision!
Chase, This is my first visit to your page so I am excited to read some new content! Hmm, your cover page is interesting. I know of only one of the pictures that you used and that is Dr. Seuss of course. The other picture is of a bear, and a dog if I’m correct. I don’t know what a Kalevala is but, I’m excited to see exactly what to expect from your story. Your introduction was great! You answered all of my questions. So The Kalevala is an Epic story from Finland. I have never heard of it before in my life, and I love Epics and Hero tales. In fact I just read Beowulf this week, and I enjoyed it very much. The rest of your introduction was great though. You told me exactly what you were going to do in the story, and also introduced me to the main character, Lemminkainen. The picture of Lemminkainen you chose is Epic! He looks like the Ghost Rider or something. Your first story was great. It is always nice to read a storybook that uses a poetic style. You can definitely tell that Lemminkainen is a sucker for Women. I bet that will get him into more trouble in the future.
Chase, I know I've already commented on your Storybook before, but I could not help myself from coming back to see how you've weaved these original stories into playful poetry. For one, I love how you use "Lemmy" when it comes to your protagonist! It just adds further to the playfulness.
I smiled to myself when I read the rhyming that accompanies Lemmy's injury. Also, you deserve some true kudos for being able to retain a playful tone while describing a scene of death. Despite the serious content of that part, I could still see this story being read to children. It treats death in such a non-dramatic way!
By the way, I do not think it was too confusing when Lemmy's mother enters into the story. In my opinion, it allowed you to continue to focus on a character even thought your protagonist was dead for a little bit.
I will say that I was a little confused when Lemmy says, "I might get to marry by the end of this May!" Perhaps I do not remember something from the end of the last story.
I still am thoroughly impressed with what you have been able to accomplish here. Believe me, I do not give out compliments will-nilly!
For my free storybook choice this week, I wanted to check back in on your project to see how it was coming and what Lemminkainen was up to.
In Lemmy's Chance, I thought you did a really good job of keeping the story moving while still filling the reader in on what was going through Lemmy's head as he watched the hunter.
Why was Lemmy so scared of the hunter that he had to run away? Did he recognize him suddenly? I also didn't quite understand why he got into the river if he thought there was no way for him to survive.
I was very surprised when Lemmy died! I wasn't expecting that at all. It was very cool how his mother became such an important character and figured out a way to save him. But why did the hunter shoot him in the first place? I understood what you said in your author's note about not wanting to make Lemmy unlikeable. But I still think the hunter needs some reason for shooting him. Otherwise, it seems a bit pointless.
I thought this story was just as entertaining as the first one, and I will be interested to see where the Black Swan is when Lemmy comes back to life. If she is still nearby, it would make his job easier, but that might make the quest too easy for him.
Hello again Chase, I have not been to your storybook since the first week of commenting. I am excited to see how your storybook has turned out. Your first story was great. Your theme is so creative. I think that rhyming your whole story would be kind of tough. Do you have to spend a lot of time writing stories or do they come to you pretty easy? This seems like a hard style of writing and I do not think that I would be able to make the story flow as well as you did. I have never heard this story before so I think your story did a great job telling it. Also, your author’s note helped explain what all was from the original story. I really like all the pictures that you have added. They are all great at giving the reader a figure to imagine while reading your stories. Lemminkainen sounds like the epitome of a macho man. He is super confident and really sure of himself. The second story had a big twist. I would not have thought that Lemmy would die but luckily for him his mom came to the rescue. Your author’s notes are great. They really explain a lot of the missing pieces. I do not blame you for not wanting to tell the part about the hair brush. I think that would have been a bit harder to explain in this style or writing. Great job on your storybook.
This week, I decided to read your story book as one of my free choices, as the name jumped out to me from the rest on the list. I've always loved Dr. Seuss so I was excited to see what you were going to do in terms of retelling with a Dr. Seuss twist on the stories in your book.
Your story book is set up very well! The fonts, colors, and images all remind me of Dr. Seuss in their fun and whimsical manner. I think this sets up your book right off the bat so your readers are instantly drawn in by the mere "look" of your website.
The introduction was great. I had never heard of Kalevala before so I'm glad that your introduction provided some great insight into who this character is and what the book was going to be about without providing too much information.
Just like the introduction, I thought the stories were really great as well. Most people probably haven't heard of this epic poem that you used as the basis of your storybook, but I think the author's notes you provided give some great insight that the readers need to know to understand what is happening without reading the long poem. You did a great job with your storybook project!
Hi Chase, I love that you used Dr.Seuss as the interpreter of this storybook! The images you chose for you cover page are also very interesting. I like the simplicity of your site. The colors are simple and adds a nice tone to your website. I especially like the font you chose. I really like the poem style you chose to use. It keeps the story simple and makes it easier to read. I’ve never heard of Lemminkainen but he does seem like rather interesting character. It’s amazing how you kept up the rhyme seem, what a clever and fun idea! I like that each new story is a new chapter in Lemminkainen’s life. It sets up a nice pace and makes for an easier read. The images you incorporated don’t quite fit with the Dr. Seuss theme. But I do think it’s a nice balance. I really like the ending of the storybook it tied everything up nicely. More so that you further explained everything in the Author’s Note. This story was very well written and I’m pleased that you kept the rhyming consistent throughout the storybook. You did a very good job! Overall I really enjoyed reading all of your stories.
Hey Chase! Nice work on your storybook! I like your concept of rewriting the Kalevala like a Dr. Seuss book. I remember trying to attempt something similar with one of my storytellings, but I got nowhere because I found it very difficult. However, you did a fantastic job at it! I am very impressed!
As for the overall look of your storybook, I found this a bit plain. I think you were aiming for a simple look, but I think it may be too simple. Before even reading at the content of a storybook, readers see the layout so the layout is like a first impression. You have such a whimsical and imaginative storybook, but your layout does not really match it. I would suggest sprucing it up a bit so it draws in readers. Also, I am not familiar with Kalevala stories so I did not understand why you chose the second picture on your coverpage. It would be nice if you added a small description of why you chose that picture.
As I have said before, your stories are all really great! It is clear that you thought about each detail and you tried to stay true to the original story.
Your third story, Lemminkainen's Rage, continues your story nicely. In the first stanza, I liked how you presented the facts sort of out of order. First, we find out that he his mad, and then we learn that he wasn't invited in a wedding, and finally, we learn whose wedding it is. It kept the sense of mystery alive.
I appreciated your explanation in your author's note about who Ilmarien was and what Pohjola had to do with the story. Nice addition to your project!
I liked how even though Lemmy wasn't invited to the wedding, he decided he was going to go anyways. This revealed a lot about who he is as a character. You also did a great job of always keeping the story moving while he is riding to get to the celebration. I think your word choice of active verbs helped you with that.
I was a little confused about Lemmy's battle with Lord of the North. I didn't understand why Lemmy wasn't allowed to cross the river after he won the battle. It would seem that crossing would be his reward for winning. This part of the story reminded me of the scene in Monty Python and The Holy Grail where King Arthur fights the black night. So good job with the descriptions of the fight.
Wow I really love the overall theme of your storybook! I think this is so creative and I never would have thought to include Dr. Seuss in it! I think that your cover page looks pretty good the only suggestion I really have is to make you links to other pages larger and to also add some color to the background! I think the links are a bit small to read and so it is kind of hard to make out what they say but making them bigger would easily fix that! I really like how you decided to lay out your introduction post! I think it was a great idea to have it as a ‘letter’ from Dr. Seuss and have him speaking throughout the whole thing! I also feel that it is useful to have them focus on one character from the poem just because it is so large in size. Lemminkainen’s Bride was written really well and also very creatively! I think that it is so great that you were able to write this in poem format. I think it is fun to read because there are not many storybooks that are in the poem format. Great job!
It's been a few weeks since I last read your storybook and I was definitely not disappointed in the return in visit! You did an excellent job in your additional stories! I can't imagine how difficult writing in this style would be but you do a really great job and make it seem effortless. His poor mother though! I can't imagine seeing my son dead in the woods, but I'm glad that she was able to revive him. I also like that the first thing he said when coming back to life was "where is the swan?"
I read the Lemmy's Rage story and I really liked it! I read your author's note and I don't think this story ended awkwardly! It's hard to get all the details into a rhyme but I think you did really well! It still made sense to me despite the things you had to leave out.
I also read the last story and I am really glad he was able to find his mother! I like the way you ended this as well. Lemmy learns that anger is not the solution to life's problems, but love and comfort are.
I have decided to read your storybook again for one of my free choices this week. I thought that your writing style was very creative; writing your stories in rhyme and Dr. Seuss-like language is not an easy task. I was also interested in the story and curious how Lemminkainen would be able to win over the girl. I liked the story “Lemminkainen’s Chance” a lot. I’m torn as to whether I think your choice to make Lemmy innocent was a good one or not. I agree with you that it makes the story more tragic and I like Lemmy better this way. However, if he had taunted the hunter first, then it would provide a sort of lesson for Lemmy to learn when he was resurrected. I think you added the mother into the story well, too. Like you said, it does seem a bit random, but the reader can easily assume that she was motivated by motherly love to search for her son. It doesn’t need some elaborate explanation other than that. I think you have a really great storybook! The source material is great and very entertaining, and the way you write the story makes it really fun to read. Great job!
Hi Chase! I am from the Indian Epics class and I'm reading your storybook for the FINAL week of commenting! This is my first time reading your storybook and I definitely clicked on it because Dr. Seuss was in the title! I really like the idea of retelling stories from that point of view. For most of my storytellings I used characters or stories that I already knew and just told them from that point of view! I think it is so fun to be able to give your own voice and personalities to common characters that everyone already knows! I do not know anything about Finnish mythology so I was really excited to get to read this! It definitely made me excited to read that Finnish mythology is an inspiration for Lord of the Rings because I am so obsessed with those movies! I am SO impressed with how well written your stories are! You did a great job putting on the voice of Dr. Seuss and your rhymes worked SO well! Not that I don't love reading everyone's storybooks, but writing it in rhyme really made it so much easier and more enjoyable to read! Really really great job! I can definitely tell that you're a really creative person!
Chase- I really like that you start by stating some history about your storybook topic and include real life examples about how it is relevant and important. I also really love that your stories rhyme. I attempted a rhyming story in a storytelling post, but yours flows much better and puts mine to shame! Haha. I attempted to do a storytelling post about Jack and Jill that was actually inspired by your storytelling style. Your stories are so well written and I thought they were not only intelligent, but incredibly fun to read. I had so much fun just reading your stories. I actually read it a few times through because I just enjoy reading the rhyme scheme. I think this is by far one of the most creative ways to write, and I could not be more thrilled at your skill level in it. "The Chance" story made me really curious and you did a good job of drawing readers into the story. I absolutely loved the picture you included. My favorite part of your storybook was that, despite everything that happened to him, Lemmy took the high road and had a happy ending. I hope you had a great semester!
Hello Chase, I will be commenting on your cover page, your introduction, and your storybook overall. I will start with your cover page. I think the pictures are great. Your font for your citation is hard to read though. The font is hard to read on your sitemap as well. Now to your introduction, I really like the picture you provided here. I think the picture was a great choice for your introduction. The picture allows the reader to know what Lemminkainen look like and will allow them to imagine him while reading the rest of your stories. Your font is hard to read here as well. Maybe you could make the font bigger. I think you have a great topic. The beginning of your introduction is kind of boring though. I’m not trying to be rude but I kind of had to force myself to read all of it. Now the end of your introduction was great and very easy to read. Alright overall, I think you have a great start to your storybook. I think if you make a couple font changes that will help a lot. Also maybe add some color to your theme to spruce up the site a little to attract your readers a little more. I hope these comments are helpful. Good luck with the rest of your storybook. Oh, you have your verification still on for people to post on your blogger.
ReplyDeleteHi chase, when I first clicked on the link to you page. I noticed a contrast between the two pictures you have selected for you home page. As one is very playful and even very attraction to a much younger audience. Whereas the other one seems a little bit more mature (I don’t know if that’s the right word to describe it) But it seems more action packed. So I am assuming that I am not in for all poetry and rhymes rather a more exciting story book web page. I don’t mean to be critical as I too am new to this. But I think you maybe could have aligned your pictures in the center or may even blow them up a bit more. I understand it is the beginning stages.
ReplyDeleteI like the use of font text. Reading your introduction, I thought you did an outstanding job. I think the detailed history is definitely vital as it give your readers a much deeper understanding in what you are talking about and in a way it is actually educational. So a very well done on that one. By the way, I really like the picture of the horse you used. Also your introduction almost seems like a theatrical play that the readers are about to witness. GOOD JOB!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteI decided to look at your storybook this week for my one free choice. I was drawn to yours because of the title. First, I have no idea what the Kalevala is, so there was a bit of mystery involved there that I wanted to explore. Second, you wrote “as Interpreted by Dr. Suess.” When I read this I was very intrigued. I was sure this would be a great storybook just from the title alone.
I then clicked on your link and was taken to your cover page. I again saw the well-known characters of Dr. Seuss, and I was also given a hint as to what the Kalevala may be. It may have something to do with a wolf, a bear, and a fish. This is great because I am further intrigued to see how you will connect the two.
I liked the introduction, too. I like that it gives you a brief synopsis, tells you where it comes from, and explains how the Kalevala has influenced literature from other parts of the world. The introduction itself doesn’t really make me think of Dr. Suess other than the fact that his name is on it, so I am pushed to read the stories to find out what they will be like told from his perspective. The wolf, bear, and fish are still in the back of my mind. Are they important to the Kalevala?
Overall, I think you’ve definitely got a good start to something fun and creative!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteI thought your Dr. Suess theme is a really good idea! I bet it took you a long time to try to write such a long story with all of that rhyming! The only thing I would suggest changing about your format is the font size. It was definitely way too small to read, I had to zoom in quite a bit on my computer. Your first story turned out well! The end had a cliffhanger which I wasn't expecting! I liked the story, it was good! I wish there was a little more color in your layout or just in your pictures! Although that is just a personal preference of mine. I like to be a little gaudy and vibrant with everything I do because it makes things more interesting for me. You are very brave to choose to turn four stories into poems! I am excited to see what other stories you pick and what else you do with your story book! Keep up the good work and keep going strong. Good job!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteI first want to say how impressed I am with your first story in your storybook. I was super intrigued with your theme last week when I first read your introduction. It seems like the Kalevala is a collection of great epic stories, which would make great material for a Dr. Suess kind of book. I was also interested to read your stories because they would have a rhyme scheme throughout. I can only imagine what a task this really was! You did a great job with it, though.
I liked Lemminkainen and his quest to find a wife. He was really determined to find some woman to marry and to get away from his home. I thought it was really fun that you mentioned that he travelled in his dreams, too. This gave great insight into his spirit during his journey. It was crazy, though, when he reached the end of his journey, how he and the fair maiden immediately fell in love.
I think you picked a great place to stop on this story. We had resolution with the story itself. Lemminkainen set out on a journey to find a wife and at the end he found a fair maiden whom he wished to marry. You also set up the next part of the story nicely. Now that he has found the fair maiden, he must earn his marriage to her, or at least earn the approval of the father, by completing some great task.
Great job!
Hi Chase,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I think it's awesome that you chose a myth that probably no one has ever heard of before because it's always fun to learn something new. I also think it's cool that you picked this myth that is so central to Finnish culture.
I also thought you did a fantastic job of writing like Dr. Seuss. I read his books often to the kids I tutor, and you hit the style right on the nose. The only thing that I thought was missing were his made-up words. With that, you did a good job of reminding the reader of the hero's goal every so often. I especially love the line, "At catching rare creatures, Lemminkainen was second to none." And the way you talked about him traveling by day, by night, and in dreams was very reminiscent of Dr. Seuss. I loved the part about him walking left and right. It really showed how determined he was to find a bride. You are clearly a Dr. Seuss fan, and you delivered what you promised!
As you said in your author's note, I could see how it could be difficult to stop rhyming long enough to end the first section of the story. But I thought you picked a good spot. It hinted at what was to come and left me wondering. Good job!
Hello Chase, thank you for your comment on my storybook. To clear a few things up the person on the couch is whoever you want to imagine it to be. I left this open so that the reader to make the story their own. Also the storybook is someone watching TV. So the narrator sections is them talking to the TV.
ReplyDeleteHi Chase,
ReplyDeleteYou were my free storybook choice for this week and the title drew me in. Being the son of a first grade teacher and having worked in school systems for several years, I have read countless Dr. Seuss works. Overall, you did a good job getting that Dr. Seuss feel into your story, it must have been difficult as you said to rhyme all of that. My main suggestion would be to reread through your story and clean up misspelled words and oddly worded sentences. Also, if you are doing a Dr. Seuss retelling, I would work with your theme colors and try to change up the color from white to something Dr. Seuss-like. Overall, great idea and good work.
Chase, thank you so much for your comment on my week 2 storytelling. I really felt as though you knew what I wanted to say through my story. Your comment actually reminded me of something J.R. Tolkien (writer of the Lord of the Rings) once said to his friend C.S. Lewis (Narnia). Anyway, your encouragement was greatly appreciated. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Chase! Great job on your storybook project. I'm from the Indian Epics class, and I've loved getting to read some of the great projects from your class, and yours is one of the projects I really enjoyed. I have never heard of the story you are retelling, so it was interesting to read about the Finnish epic in a format that was easy and reminded me of Dr. Seuss books. I can't imagine how difficult it can be, but you managed it quite well! It was simple yet was enough for the story to progress and the reader to get an idea of the man Lemminkainen is—somewhat cocky and in desperate want of a wife. I really liked your choice of images, especially the introduction. It's beautiful! One suggestion I would have is to maybe change your font or make it bigger—it could be a little harder to read than the traditional fonts. I liked how you did your introduction and author's notes as if Dr. Seuss is writing it; that was a great touch. You did well in simplifying the story and explaining differences in the author's note. I really enjoyed your project and hopefully will be able to read more-- well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Chase, Thank you for your feedback. Yes it was a really fun reading unit.
ReplyDeleteChase
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thanks for you comment about my Storybook, Pride Cometh Before Destruction. It really made me think about how I wanted my version of Death to come across. I have not read either of the books you mentioned, but will probably check them out sometime.
As far as Death not being involved in my first story, I would like to think the origin story was like Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. Half the movie goes by and leaves the view thinking, 'Where is Batman?!' However, this is because of the incredible development of the Bruce Wayne side, so maybe I need to look at my story again and see if I am developing the character well enough.
Hey Chase, just wanted to thank you for the comment you left on my story about Brer Rabbit. Like you, I also really enjoy the old Looney Tunes cartoons from back in the day. It is good to hear positive comments about the stories I wrote. Those comments are always welcome. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm very impressed with you ability to weave rhymes so well into your Storybook. I wanted to read the whole of "Lemminkainen's Bride" out loud! Very well-done on your part! Also, I like how you set up the Storybook to be narrated by Dr. Seuss and subsequently write the author's note in his voice.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the coverpage, is there any chance you can remove that space between the two photos? The vast white spot can distract the reader a little bit.
There are a few typographical errors I want to make sure you catch, so I've listed them below.
In your introduction, go ahead and fix "konw" to "know" and "no a forgotten piece of mythology" to "not a forgotten piece of mythology."
In the story "Lemminkainen's Bride," the eighth stanza needs a comma after "To win my fair daughter." You might also consider capitalizing that "But"'s that begin lines near the end. I would read over the whole thing to make sure you have the capitalization ship-shape.
Overall, make sure that you have complete sentences throughout. Sometimes, there's a sentence that seems to be a modifier of the next. Then again, it might because the commas and periods look so similar in this font.
Other than that, I really enjoyed the effect of the rhyme throughout the whole story!
The site design is fairly plain but the pictures are well-chosen, especially the striking illustration of Lemminkainen riding the horse. The text is a bit hard to read, but that might just be me though.
ReplyDeleteThe content here is of good quality. I'm covering "The Volsung Saga" for my storybook, a work which was likely partially influenced by the "The Kelevala," so it's a particularly cool experience for me to read the Storybook for another northern European mythological work. You've done a good job with the rhymes, and it looks like you have also skillfully condensed the source material down to the bare essentials in order to keep your word count down. The Storybook has a really fun, whimsical tone (fitting considering who the poet is supposed to be) that makes it an absolute blast to read. The characterization of Lemmy is really well done in the story as well. You’ve really captured Lemmy’s single-track mind and his un-hero-like qualities. I love how Lemmy tries sailing, only to fall victim to rampant seasickness, and how he later flees in fear from a mere hunter. Lemminkainen talks a big game, but it’s clear by the first story that Hercules he is not. I’m looking forward to reading more about the man’s misadventures.
Chase, wow! At first I was not quite sure how you would tie in the Dr. Suess style, but as soon as I started reading your second story about Lemminkainen's Chance, I was so impressed and interested! I love the rhyming and the simple, witty and fun style!!! It is pretty spot on to Dr. Suess, and I know you must have put a good amount of effort into writing it to be able to rhyme the story and emulate his style.
ReplyDeleteOverall, the story line was very interested, and definitely a sad one. I was shocked to see the main character was killed in this story. I did not know how you would continue your storybook until he was brought back to life. But even with such a morbid story line, it was still light and fun with the Dr. Suess style. I think your writing is phenomenal on your storybook and fits Dr. Suess great! One suggestion I might make though is pertaining to the stylistic appearance of your storybook. I think the font is very appropriate for Dr. Suess, but I think you should consider using some types of colors or illustrations in your background and site layout. Looking at a Dr. Suess book one thing that comes to my mind is always the colors and elaborate drawings and characters. I think if you added some of those elements to your site it would really scream Dr. Suess and bring in readers! Just a thought!
Overall, I think you are doing so well!! Great job!
Before reading your introduction and first story, I can say that I like the simplicity of your cover page. I like the plain white background and the way it makes your images stand out. I do not know what a Kalevala is, but I am interested in finding out! I am also interested in seeing how Dr. Seuss being the narrator plays into all of this.
ReplyDeleteWell with just the first sentence of the introduction, I am glad to know that I am not the only one who has not heard of the Kalevala. This is also the first storybook that I have come across focused on Finnish mythology. I had no idea that the culture influenced so many fantastic pieces of literature. I like the ending of your intro and how it sums up what your storybook is going to be about. It gives enough information about Lemminkainen in order to anticipate what his story has in story.
Wow, that is the first thing that came to mind when I read your first story! Your project has to be the most creative one that I have come across! The fact that you could make your stories into poems, with a consistent rhyming scheme, is simply incredible. Reading the story was easy to follow and understand. The information in your author's note gave the story more life, in my opinion, pertaining to the backstory that you decided to exclude from your remake.
Chase,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool idea for a storybook! I like that you had Dr. Seuss speaking in a normal way in the introduction to help explain the back story. I had never heard of this before so it was nice to have it explained clearly and not in his typical rhyme haha. The image you used on the introduction page is really cool too. I also like the simplicity of your background and font and the colors. It is all very easy to read and it's not too busy or anything like that. The image of Kalevala's wolf, bear, and fish next to the Dr. Seuss image was nice too. It's funny to see that menacing bear and think of it being told by Dr. Seuss haha.
You did an excellent job in your first story! It was very Dr. Seuss. It rhymed really well and it was fun to read. I bet the original story must have been pretty difficult to read especially since it's an epic poem but you seem to have stayed close to the original. I read your author's note and saw where you decided to leave certain things out. I think it works because, as you said, it would have been dense and very hard to incorporate in this style.
Overall great job!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by your title since it included Dr. Seuss, therefore, I chose you as my ‘free choice’ for this weeks commenting. I thought you did an excellent job on tailoring the template for you page to your intended audience and overall theme. I loved how you introduction did a great job of introducing your story and explaining a little more about it, but having it more exciting since Dr. Seuss narrated it. Your first story was great! I think you did an excellent job with telling the story as a poem. However, maybe you could center the poem or make the font slightly larger? It seems a bit one sided when glancing at it. I’m glad you explained some of your thoughts and ideas for this story in your author’s note. It really helped me understand the story better. In your second story, I like you chose to make ‘Lemmy’ more likeable and keep him innocent. Even though the second story was a bit more melancholy I still enjoyed it, especially the style. I think poems are much more exciting and fun than simply a summary of a story. Overall, I loved your storybook. I’m excited to see what happens next!
I think this a great idea for a storybook you’ve got. Dr. Seuss is such an iconic author, however, your storybook was not particularly iconic for me. Your storybook was such a lot of white. Dr. Seuss is known for his vibrant, eye-catching colors and your storybook fell flat in that aspect. I think if you took the time to really find a great theme and customize it to feel very Dr. Seuss, it will bring your storybook up an exponential amount. As for the writing, I thought it was really great. Sure, there were a few times in the poem that it hiccupped a little due to a few too long phrases and verses. I’m not sure how many poetry classes you’ve taken, but once you find a rhythm you have to stick to it (that mean if you start out with four lines per stanza you need to keep that consistent the whole time). As for the pictures, they weren’t very Dr. Seuss, but I understand that that’s a bit more difficult to fix than just customizing your theme. But the pictures distract me from the world of Dr. Seuss. I’m already not super in it between you’ve given me a very blank and vanilla storybook, and the pictures detract that much more.
ReplyDeleteChase, ah I could not resist coming back to your storybook to read more! I was so impressed with the last story I read and wanted to see what you had next! First off, I still really would love to see more of a color scheme to bring in the “Dr. Suess” element. He is so full of color and illustrations in his books that I think it is really imperative you incorporate some of that in your storybook.
ReplyDeleteBut your writing style is still so on point! Dr. Suess would be proud, I am sure! I know rhyming must be so hard, and it probably makes telling a full story and including all the details you want nearly impossible. In this story, I feel there may be a few details it would be important to include. At the beginning of this story I had a few questions come into mind that were never really addressed or answered by the end of the story. First and foremost, why wasn’t Lemminkainen invited to the wedding?! We never found that out, or why exactly the groom’s father was sword fighting Lemminkainen. The story was definitely interesting and action packed, but those are important details that a reader really wants to know in order to feel satisfied after reading your story. You don’t want to send them on a “wild goose chase” to say, by starting off talking about how hurt he is by not being invited and have them read through this entire story to never really circle back about the wedding, the friend who did not invite him, or any of that.
Just a thought! I still think you are doing soooo great though! Keep it up!
I really liked the picture on your introduction page. I thought it was really captivating and made me want to read more about your story. I LOVE rhyming. I actually had to read your story twice because the first time, I was so captivated by the rhyming that I didn’t take notes. I think my favorite line is “He traveled through forests. He traveled through streams. When he stopped to sleep, he traveled in dreams”. I just loved everything about that part, I’m not sure why. I really like your story so far and I am really excited to read the rest. In fact, I may just choose your other two stories as the extra credit this week so I can read it all right now! Although you said you had some difficulty rhyming and following your writing style at times, I thought your project was really well put together and inspired. I also think leaving out his previous marriage was a good move, I don’t think it would have added much to the story and probably would have been more difficult to incorporate into the rhyme scheme. I really don’t want to read the original of your story because I have a feeling I will like your version so much more!
ReplyDeleteChase, your title really caught me! I was interested to see what kind of storybook you were making and Dr. Seuss is awesome for rhymes. The photos you chose for the coverpage capture my attention and make me wonder what it is you are going to tell us in the stories. I love the setup you chose for your introduction. Putting that awesome picture next to the story is a fantastic setup and the introduction made me smile since you noted Lord of the Rings and gave some information about Finland.
ReplyDeleteYour first story instantly grabbed me. I have not seen a storybook yet using rhymes or epics. Lemminkainen sounds like a very interesting man, especially since he wants to find a wife so bad! I think it was a good choice to leave out the marriage. I wonder, was it difficult writing this? You mentioned the style is hard to grasp sometimes, so how did you fair with coming up with your retellings? Each of the stories leads us into a new adventure… But I can NOT believe the second story, oh my gosh! You definitely toyed with my emotions, poor Lemminkainen! That’s a total plot twist since he died… I am glad he was able to come back. The next story was amazing too! Keep up the good work! I am definitely glad I read this.
Chase, your introduction was great! I loved that you opened with a question and made readers feel more excited about reading your storybook because the topic is rare. However, we are on the same page with Dr. Seuss, which is pretty cool! Thanks for including a great description on what the Kalevala is. This sounds like such an interesting mythology story. I only read the first story, Lemminkainen’s Bride this week. The way you wrote the story was perfect. I liked that it was still written as a poem and I know that was not an easy way to write it but you did good! It was easy to follow and understand. At first I thought that Lemminkainen already had a bride in mind that he was going after. I did not realize until he reached the ground that he was just hoping to run into a pretty girl! It was crazy how him and the maiden fell in love with each other so quick. I’m glad that her father was going to make Lemminkainen work for her though. This story was fun, creative, and really enjoyable to read. The author’s note was helpful also by including that you had left the backstory from the original out; which I think that was a good decision!
ReplyDeleteChase,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first visit to your page so I am excited to read some new content! Hmm, your cover page is interesting. I know of only one of the pictures that you used and that is Dr. Seuss of course. The other picture is of a bear, and a dog if I’m correct. I don’t know what a Kalevala is but, I’m excited to see exactly what to expect from your story.
Your introduction was great! You answered all of my questions. So The Kalevala is an Epic story from Finland. I have never heard of it before in my life, and I love Epics and Hero tales. In fact I just read Beowulf this week, and I enjoyed it very much. The rest of your introduction was great though. You told me exactly what you were going to do in the story, and also introduced me to the main character, Lemminkainen. The picture of Lemminkainen you chose is Epic! He looks like the Ghost Rider or something.
Your first story was great. It is always nice to read a storybook that uses a poetic style. You can definitely tell that Lemminkainen is a sucker for Women. I bet that will get him into more trouble in the future.
Chase, I know I've already commented on your Storybook before, but I could not help myself from coming back to see how you've weaved these original stories into playful poetry. For one, I love how you use "Lemmy" when it comes to your protagonist! It just adds further to the playfulness.
ReplyDeleteI smiled to myself when I read the rhyming that accompanies Lemmy's injury. Also, you deserve some true kudos for being able to retain a playful tone while describing a scene of death. Despite the serious content of that part, I could still see this story being read to children. It treats death in such a non-dramatic way!
By the way, I do not think it was too confusing when Lemmy's mother enters into the story. In my opinion, it allowed you to continue to focus on a character even thought your protagonist was dead for a little bit.
I will say that I was a little confused when Lemmy says, "I might get to marry by the end of this May!" Perhaps I do not remember something from the end of the last story.
I still am thoroughly impressed with what you have been able to accomplish here. Believe me, I do not give out compliments will-nilly!
Hey Chase,
ReplyDeleteFor my free storybook choice this week, I wanted to check back in on your project to see how it was coming and what Lemminkainen was up to.
In Lemmy's Chance, I thought you did a really good job of keeping the story moving while still filling the reader in on what was going through Lemmy's head as he watched the hunter.
Why was Lemmy so scared of the hunter that he had to run away? Did he recognize him suddenly? I also didn't quite understand why he got into the river if he thought there was no way for him to survive.
I was very surprised when Lemmy died! I wasn't expecting that at all. It was very cool how his mother became such an important character and figured out a way to save him. But why did the hunter shoot him in the first place? I understood what you said in your author's note about not wanting to make Lemmy unlikeable. But I still think the hunter needs some reason for shooting him. Otherwise, it seems a bit pointless.
I thought this story was just as entertaining as the first one, and I will be interested to see where the Black Swan is when Lemmy comes back to life. If she is still nearby, it would make his job easier, but that might make the quest too easy for him.
Good job1
Hello again Chase, I have not been to your storybook since the first week of commenting. I am excited to see how your storybook has turned out. Your first story was great. Your theme is so creative. I think that rhyming your whole story would be kind of tough. Do you have to spend a lot of time writing stories or do they come to you pretty easy? This seems like a hard style of writing and I do not think that I would be able to make the story flow as well as you did. I have never heard this story before so I think your story did a great job telling it. Also, your author’s note helped explain what all was from the original story. I really like all the pictures that you have added. They are all great at giving the reader a figure to imagine while reading your stories. Lemminkainen sounds like the epitome of a macho man. He is super confident and really sure of himself. The second story had a big twist. I would not have thought that Lemmy would die but luckily for him his mom came to the rescue. Your author’s notes are great. They really explain a lot of the missing pieces. I do not blame you for not wanting to tell the part about the hair brush. I think that would have been a bit harder to explain in this style or writing. Great job on your storybook.
ReplyDeleteChase,
ReplyDeleteThis week, I decided to read your story book as one of my free choices, as the name jumped out to me from the rest on the list. I've always loved Dr. Seuss so I was excited to see what you were going to do in terms of retelling with a Dr. Seuss twist on the stories in your book.
Your story book is set up very well! The fonts, colors, and images all remind me of Dr. Seuss in their fun and whimsical manner. I think this sets up your book right off the bat so your readers are instantly drawn in by the mere "look" of your website.
The introduction was great. I had never heard of Kalevala before so I'm glad that your introduction provided some great insight into who this character is and what the book was going to be about without providing too much information.
Just like the introduction, I thought the stories were really great as well. Most people probably haven't heard of this epic poem that you used as the basis of your storybook, but I think the author's notes you provided give some great insight that the readers need to know to understand what is happening without reading the long poem. You did a great job with your storybook project!
Hi Chase,
ReplyDeleteI love that you used Dr.Seuss as the interpreter of this storybook! The images you chose for you cover page are also very interesting. I like the simplicity of your site. The colors are simple and adds a nice tone to your website. I especially like the font you chose. I really like the poem style you chose to use. It keeps the story simple and makes it easier to read. I’ve never heard of Lemminkainen but he does seem like rather interesting character. It’s amazing how you kept up the rhyme seem, what a clever and fun idea! I like that each new story is a new chapter in Lemminkainen’s life. It sets up a nice pace and makes for an easier read. The images you incorporated don’t quite fit with the Dr. Seuss theme. But I do think it’s a nice balance. I really like the ending of the storybook it tied everything up nicely. More so that you further explained everything in the Author’s Note. This story was very well written and I’m pleased that you kept the rhyming consistent throughout the storybook. You did a very good job! Overall I really enjoyed reading all of your stories.
Hey Chase! Nice work on your storybook! I like your concept of rewriting the Kalevala like a Dr. Seuss book. I remember trying to attempt something similar with one of my storytellings, but I got nowhere because I found it very difficult. However, you did a fantastic job at it! I am very impressed!
ReplyDeleteAs for the overall look of your storybook, I found this a bit plain. I think you were aiming for a simple look, but I think it may be too simple. Before even reading at the content of a storybook, readers see the layout so the layout is like a first impression. You have such a whimsical and imaginative storybook, but your layout does not really match it. I would suggest sprucing it up a bit so it draws in readers. Also, I am not familiar with Kalevala stories so I did not understand why you chose the second picture on your coverpage. It would be nice if you added a small description of why you chose that picture.
As I have said before, your stories are all really great! It is clear that you thought about each detail and you tried to stay true to the original story.
Your third story, Lemminkainen's Rage, continues your story nicely. In the first stanza, I liked how you presented the facts sort of out of order. First, we find out that he his mad, and then we learn that he wasn't invited in a wedding, and finally, we learn whose wedding it is. It kept the sense of mystery alive.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated your explanation in your author's note about who Ilmarien was and what Pohjola had to do with the story. Nice addition to your project!
I liked how even though Lemmy wasn't invited to the wedding, he decided he was going to go anyways. This revealed a lot about who he is as a character. You also did a great job of always keeping the story moving while he is riding to get to the celebration. I think your word choice of active verbs helped you with that.
I was a little confused about Lemmy's battle with Lord of the North. I didn't understand why Lemmy wasn't allowed to cross the river after he won the battle. It would seem that crossing would be his reward for winning. This part of the story reminded me of the scene in Monty Python and The Holy Grail where King Arthur fights the black night. So good job with the descriptions of the fight.
Wow I really love the overall theme of your storybook! I think this is so creative and I never would have thought to include Dr. Seuss in it! I think that your cover page looks pretty good the only suggestion I really have is to make you links to other pages larger and to also add some color to the background! I think the links are a bit small to read and so it is kind of hard to make out what they say but making them bigger would easily fix that!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you decided to lay out your introduction post! I think it was a great idea to have it as a ‘letter’ from Dr. Seuss and have him speaking throughout the whole thing! I also feel that it is useful to have them focus on one character from the poem just because it is so large in size. Lemminkainen’s Bride was written really well and also very creatively! I think that it is so great that you were able to write this in poem format. I think it is fun to read because there are not many storybooks that are in the poem format. Great job!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteIt's been a few weeks since I last read your storybook and I was definitely not disappointed in the return in visit! You did an excellent job in your additional stories! I can't imagine how difficult writing in this style would be but you do a really great job and make it seem effortless. His poor mother though! I can't imagine seeing my son dead in the woods, but I'm glad that she was able to revive him. I also like that the first thing he said when coming back to life was "where is the swan?"
I read the Lemmy's Rage story and I really liked it! I read your author's note and I don't think this story ended awkwardly! It's hard to get all the details into a rhyme but I think you did really well! It still made sense to me despite the things you had to leave out.
I also read the last story and I am really glad he was able to find his mother! I like the way you ended this as well. Lemmy learns that anger is not the solution to life's problems, but love and comfort are.
Overall really great job!
Chase,
ReplyDeleteI have decided to read your storybook again for one of my free choices this week. I thought that your writing style was very creative; writing your stories in rhyme and Dr. Seuss-like language is not an easy task. I was also interested in the story and curious how Lemminkainen would be able to win over the girl.
I liked the story “Lemminkainen’s Chance” a lot. I’m torn as to whether I think your choice to make Lemmy innocent was a good one or not. I agree with you that it makes the story more tragic and I like Lemmy better this way. However, if he had taunted the hunter first, then it would provide a sort of lesson for Lemmy to learn when he was resurrected. I think you added the mother into the story well, too. Like you said, it does seem a bit random, but the reader can easily assume that she was motivated by motherly love to search for her son. It doesn’t need some elaborate explanation other than that.
I think you have a really great storybook! The source material is great and very entertaining, and the way you write the story makes it really fun to read. Great job!
Hi Chase! I am from the Indian Epics class and I'm reading your storybook for the FINAL week of commenting! This is my first time reading your storybook and I definitely clicked on it because Dr. Seuss was in the title! I really like the idea of retelling stories from that point of view. For most of my storytellings I used characters or stories that I already knew and just told them from that point of view! I think it is so fun to be able to give your own voice and personalities to common characters that everyone already knows! I do not know anything about Finnish mythology so I was really excited to get to read this! It definitely made me excited to read that Finnish mythology is an inspiration for Lord of the Rings because I am so obsessed with those movies! I am SO impressed with how well written your stories are! You did a great job putting on the voice of Dr. Seuss and your rhymes worked SO well! Not that I don't love reading everyone's storybooks, but writing it in rhyme really made it so much easier and more enjoyable to read! Really really great job! I can definitely tell that you're a really creative person!
ReplyDeleteChase-
ReplyDeleteI really like that you start by stating some history about your storybook topic and include real life examples about how it is relevant and important. I also really love that your stories rhyme. I attempted a rhyming story in a storytelling post, but yours flows much better and puts mine to shame! Haha. I attempted to do a storytelling post about Jack and Jill that was actually inspired by your storytelling style. Your stories are so well written and I thought they were not only intelligent, but incredibly fun to read. I had so much fun just reading your stories. I actually read it a few times through because I just enjoy reading the rhyme scheme. I think this is by far one of the most creative ways to write, and I could not be more thrilled at your skill level in it. "The Chance" story made me really curious and you did a good job of drawing readers into the story. I absolutely loved the picture you included. My favorite part of your storybook was that, despite everything that happened to him, Lemmy took the high road and had a happy ending. I hope you had a great semester!