Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Week 1 Storytelling: Sir Eyes-Egg Newton and His Thoughts on Gravity

Sir Eyes-Egg Newton was quite the mathematician. He was sitting under an apple tree one afternoon, contemplating the concept of "i" as an imaginary number - something that did not go well among his colleagues.

"Imaginary numbers?! Are you saying math is like the Tooth Fairy? No! Math and science are things you can see! They're real!" they would say. "How about you jump off a bridge, Humpty Dumpty!"

Humpty Dumpty...what a cruel name. Granted, he had never had luck with names, anyway. I mean, his mom named him Eyes-Egg. What kind of a name was that? He was pretty sure his mother was a little crazy. She was one of those the-world-is-flat people.

He was getting quite boiled thinking about it all, when something thumped him on top of his head. He was now a little cracked, when he realized that it was an apple that had fallen from the apple tree. He stared at that apple for a minute or two, when he realized something:

"This is it! This apple fell because of gravity! Gravity...I like that name for it. It's something imaginary, but it explains the inexplicable! If I can share this with my colleagues, maybe they will take me seriously."


Eyes-Egg got up, and ran as fast as he could to the mathematicians forum where all his buddies would be playing "Predict the Infinite Nature of the Universe" - a highly complicated game that you would not understand. Upon arrival, he heralded his friends outside as he climbed up the nearest wall to make his speech and demonstration.

"My colleagues! You have laughed at me for years over my theories regarding the invisible and imaginary! But I shall have the last laugh now! Please - allow me to introduce to you, gravity."

With that, Eyes-Egg jumped from the ledge that had been his podium, landed on the ground with a crack, and oozed yoke everywhere. His colleagues all stood there, shocked, and about to vomit. One gave into the urge.

About this time, the king's men came by riding on their horses. At seeing the crowd, they came to a halt to see what was going on. Dismounting, they walked over to the mutilated shell of Eyes-Egg.

"Scrambled eggs!" one said. "Good thing I skipped out on breakfast!"

Author's Note:
This story comes from the classic nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
couldn't put Humpty together again.
I took this rhyme from The Nursery Rhyme Book (Andrew Lang, 1897). Now, when I made the connection between Humpty Dumpty and Sir Isaac Newton - thanks to gravity - the rest just fell into place. Plus, it helped to know a little bit about Sir Isaac's crazy latter years. It was a fun little idea I decided to run with while at work, and here is the product.
-Chase Clark


  1. I absolutely love how you combined the two stories. It was as if they were made to be mashed together! I liked how you kept the theme/joke of Eyes-Egg being an egg. It made the entire story humorous and I found myself chuckling at all of the little reminders. I definitely look forward to reading more of your stories in the future, and possibly borrowing this style of writing.

  2. Oh my gosh this is so perfect. The first sentence had me cracking up right away. I like this version a lot better than the original, actually. It's funny, it's mathy, and it's a bit scary! You have a great way of writing. Good job!

  3. Chase,
    You did a really good job with this storytelling assignment. You demonstrated a lot of creativity! It was very witty and the two stories fit together seamlessly. It gave a lot of life and purpose to the old Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme that is kind of flat and boring. It's also awesome that the it was a nerdy retelling of the rhyme.

  4. This was amazing. I absolutely loved it! You did a great job at showing your creativity with this post. I never would have thought to put the two stories together to create something as unique as this. It gave a whole new meaning and perspective for the nursery rhyme I grew up with. Job well done!

  5. Chase,

    I think I will come back to read your posts throughout the semester. I loved this storytelling post, as well. You are so creative in your stories. Mixing Humpty Dumpty and Sir Isaac Newton was an interesting choice. At first, I wasn't sure about it. But I ended up loving your story and I think your crossover between the two stories was absolutely brilliant.